Study: Majority Of Americans Fantasize About Other Countries During National Anthem (theonion.com)

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice was not uncommon even among the most patriotic individuals, a new study published Monday in the journal Qualitative Psychology found that more than half of Americans fantasize about other countries during the national anthem. “While it’s not often talked about openly, we found that a significant number of people admit to only mouthing the words to ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ while imagining another, more attractive country hundreds of miles away with a higher GDP and a modern, well-maintained infrastructure,” said lead researcher Beatrice T. Owen, adding that many participants admitted they absentmindedly mumbled bits and pieces of the song while lost in a daydream about Vancouver’s spectacular skyline or Finland’s renowned educational system. “Based on the data, it seems there’s hardly anyone who isn’t picturing a tropical South Pacific island or a Western European nation with a strict 30-hour workweek and paid, state-mandated maternity leave as they mechanically go through the motions of ‘O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.’” Owen emphasized, however, that fantasizing about other countries was a perfectly healthy part of citizenship, and that it was only a problem if a person acted on it.

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