{"id":19198,"date":"2021-06-24T16:59:03","date_gmt":"2021-06-24T23:59:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/?p=19198"},"modified":"2021-06-24T16:59:05","modified_gmt":"2021-06-24T23:59:05","slug":"conservative-man-tearfully-informs-family-critical-race-theory-has-spread-to-his-liver","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2021\/06\/24\/conservative-man-tearfully-informs-family-critical-race-theory-has-spread-to-his-liver\/","title":{"rendered":"CONSERVATIVE MAN TEARFULLY INFORMS FAMILY CRITICAL RACE THEORY HAS SPREAD TO HIS LIVER"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/bathtubbulletin.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Onion5.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-33413\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theonion.com\/conservative-man-tearfully-informs-family-critical-race-1847149198\">Tuesday 11:10AM<\/a>&nbsp;(TheOnion.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>DALLAS, TX\u2014Gathering his wife and children close to him as he shared the tragic news, area conservative Dan Gainey, 66, informed his family Tuesday that Critical Race Theory had spread to his liver. \u201cThere\u2019s no easy way to say this, but I just got the diagnosis that I have Critical Race Theory, and soon my body will be completely ravaged by it,\u201d said Gainey of the academic movement focused on studying social and cultural issues through the lens of institutional racism that was reportedly metastasizing within him. \u201cI promise you all I\u2019m going to fight like Hell to lick this thing, but the truth is that it\u2019s a pernicious ideology capable of spreading rapidly, so I probably don\u2019t have all that much longer. I just pray it doesn\u2019t spread to my brain\u2014if you ever hear me rambling incoherently about how the inequalities that spurred the civil rights movements are still with us today, I\u2019m begging you right now to put me out of my misery.\u201d At press time, Gainey sought to comfort his crying family with the promise that if they remembered the U.S. was historically the least racist country on Earth, he would always be with them in spirit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tuesday 11:10AM&nbsp;(TheOnion.com) DALLAS, TX\u2014Gathering his wife and children close to him as he shared the tragic news, area conservative Dan Gainey, 66, informed his family Tuesday that Critical Race Theory had spread to his liver. \u201cThere\u2019s no easy way to say this, but I just got the diagnosis that I&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2021\/06\/24\/conservative-man-tearfully-informs-family-critical-race-theory-has-spread-to-his-liver\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19198"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19198"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":19199,"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/19198\/revisions\/19199"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=19198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=19198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}