{"id":18035,"date":"2021-03-22T11:28:56","date_gmt":"2021-03-22T18:28:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/?p=18035"},"modified":"2021-03-22T11:28:58","modified_gmt":"2021-03-22T18:28:58","slug":"democrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-original-form-as-drawn-out-striptease","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2021\/03\/22\/democrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-original-form-as-drawn-out-striptease\/","title":{"rendered":"Democrats Signal Openness To Restoring Filibuster To Original Form As Drawn-Out Striptease"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1024\" height=\"576\" src=\"http:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33-1024x576.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-18037\" srcset=\"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33-1024x576.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33-150x84.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33-300x169.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33-768x432.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33-250x141.jpeg 250w, https:\/\/occupysf.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/Onion33.jpeg 2000w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><figcaption>WASHINGTON, DC &#8211; MARCH 02: FBI Director Christopher Wray testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee about the January 6th attack on the U.S. Capitol, in the Hart Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill on March 2, 2021 in Washington, DC. Wray is being questioned about the FBI&#8217;s preparation for and response to the riot that left five people dead and more than 140 injured. (Photo by Mandel Ngan-Pool\/Getty Images)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/politics.theonion.com\/democrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-or-1846498240\">Friday 11:45AM<\/a> (theonion.com)<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fpolitics.theonion.com%2Fdemocrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-or-1846498240%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Donionpolitics_facebook\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/share?text=Democrats%20Signal%20Openness%20To%20Restoring%20Filibuster%20To%20Original%20Form%20As%20Drawn-Out%20Striptease&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fpolitics.theonion.com%2Fdemocrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-or-1846498240%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Donionpolitics_twitter\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"mailto:?subject=Democrats%20Signal%20Openness%20To%20Restoring%20Filibuster%20To%20Original%20Form%20As%20Drawn-Out%20Striptease&amp;body=https%3A%2F%2Fpolitics.theonion.com%2Fdemocrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-or-1846498240%253Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%2526utm_source%3Donionpolitics_email%26utm_campaign=top\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/politics.theonion.com\/democrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-or-1846498240\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>WASHINGTON\u2014In a sign of growing party consensus on Capitol Hill, reports confirmed Friday that all 50 Senate Democrats have signaled their openness to restoring the filibuster to its original form as a drawn-out and highly provocative striptease act. \u201cThe filibuster is nothing but a tool for obstruction without the old rules requiring senators to hold the floor with a slow, exotic dance routine in which they gradually remove all their clothes,\u201d said Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY), explaining why he believes the practice of stalling a piece of legislation for hours at a time must be accompanied by a lawmaker seductively peeling off one garment after another, only to hide his or her body from view behind a fan of ostrich feathers until three-fifths of the senators invoke cloture and bring the show to a close. \u201cThis is what sets our chamber apart from the House: a rule that empowers the minority to use a gradual buildup of sexual arousal to stop a bill. Say what you will about my colleague Ted Cruz, but when he ripped off his tearaway three-piece suit to Ginuwine\u2019s \u201cPony\u201d and revealed those pink glitter pasties during his filibuster to defund the Affordable Care Act, we were all impressed with his determination to bump and grind for his principles.\u201d According to congressional aides, Democrats are still debating the smaller details surrounding merkins and nipple tassel requirements.<br><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Friday 11:45AM (theonion.com) WASHINGTON\u2014In a sign of growing party consensus on Capitol Hill, reports confirmed Friday that all 50 Senate Democrats have signaled their openness to restoring the filibuster to its original form as a drawn-out and highly provocative striptease act. \u201cThe filibuster is nothing but a tool for obstruction&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2021\/03\/22\/democrats-signal-openness-to-restoring-filibuster-to-original-form-as-drawn-out-striptease\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18035"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=18035"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18035\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18038,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18035\/revisions\/18038"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=18035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=18035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=18035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}