{"id":32093,"date":"2024-03-02T12:16:50","date_gmt":"2024-03-02T20:16:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/?p=32093"},"modified":"2024-03-02T12:16:51","modified_gmt":"2024-03-02T20:16:51","slug":"zelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-dance-floor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2024\/03\/02\/zelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-dance-floor\/","title":{"rendered":"Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>PublishedYesterday (TheOnion.com)<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?via=theonion&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fzelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-1851285767%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_twitter&amp;text=Zelensky%20Challenges%20Putin%20To%20Settle%20Ukraine%20War%20On%20The%20Dance%20Floor\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fzelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-1851285767%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_facebook\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fzelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-1851285767%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_reddit&amp;title=Zelensky%20Challenges%20Putin%20To%20Settle%20Ukraine%20War%20On%20The%20Dance%20Floor\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"mailto:?subject=Zelensky%20Challenges%20Putin%20To%20Settle%20Ukraine%20War%20On%20The%20Dance%20Floor&amp;body=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fzelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-1851285767%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_email\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theonion.com\/zelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-1851285767\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.kinja-img.com\/image\/upload\/c_fit,q_60,w_645\/1cb599d1711cfcf14054c82d1e736176.jpg\" alt=\"Image for article titled Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>GENEVA\u2014In an impassioned speech at a peace summit hosted in Switzerland, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky issued a striking challenge to his Russian counterpart Thursday, inviting Vladimir Putin to settle the war between their two nations on the dance floor. \u201cAfter two years of fighting we have reached a stalemate, and so today I declare it is time to stop dropping the bombs and start dropping the beat,\u201d said Zelensky, who, as drums and bass kicked in through the summit\u2019s language-interpretation headphones, ripped off his shirt and began to pop, lock, and drop to raucous applause. \u201cI say to Mr. Putin: If you want peace, if you want an end to this intractable conflict, then get your ass up off that dais, get down here on the floor, and get that booty clapping! Whoever wins will gain full control over all 230,000 square miles of Ukrainian territory. And five, six, seven, eight!\u201d At press time, the dance battle had been suspended indefinitely after Putin sprayed a powerful nerve agent directly in Zelensky\u2019s face, causing him to collapse to the ground and convulse uncontrollably.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>PublishedYesterday (TheOnion.com) GENEVA\u2014In an impassioned speech at a peace summit hosted in Switzerland, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky issued a striking challenge to his Russian counterpart Thursday, inviting Vladimir Putin to settle the war between their two nations on the dance floor. \u201cAfter two years of fighting we have reached a&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2024\/03\/02\/zelensky-challenges-putin-to-settle-ukraine-war-on-the-dance-floor\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1854],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32093"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32093"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32093\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32094,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32093\/revisions\/32094"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32093"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32093"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32093"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}