{"id":34380,"date":"2024-06-16T14:01:08","date_gmt":"2024-06-16T21:01:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/?p=34380"},"modified":"2024-06-16T14:01:08","modified_gmt":"2024-06-16T21:01:08","slug":"biden-reveals-hes-delta-force-operative-robert-scott-investigating-major-government-cover-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2024\/06\/16\/biden-reveals-hes-delta-force-operative-robert-scott-investigating-major-government-cover-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Biden Reveals He\u2019s Delta Force Operative Robert Scott Investigating Major Government Cover-Up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Published Wednesday 5:00AM (TheOnion.com)<\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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WASHINGTON\u2014Drawing stunned gasps from onlookers as he donned his signature eye patch and leather jacket, the man once known as President Joe Biden revealed Wednesday that he is, in fact, Delta Force operative Captain Robert Scott, on a mission since 1973 to investigate a major government cover-up. \u201cLadies and gentlemen, it\u2019s time I admit to you that there is no Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. from Scranton, PA\u2014he was a ruse I ginned up to hoodwink the crooks behind a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top,\u201d said Captain Scott, grinning, biting off the tip of a Montecristo Cuban cigar, and lighting it in front of a shocked press corps, whom he then jabbed at with his standard-issue trench knife. \u201cFifty-one years I\u2019ve been on this case in deep cover. Fifty-one goddamn years. You know the thoughts that go through a man\u2019s mind when he isn\u2019t even sure who his own wife is anymore? I feel like I\u2019ve lost my mind. Haven\u2019t spoken to a soul about this whole thing since it started. Fact is, most of my contacts in the clandestine service are long dead. But it\u2019ll all be worth it when the truth comes out. NSA, FBI, CIA\u2014they\u2019re filled with lackeys complicit in this cover-up. And when I enact my vengeance, it will be sweet. All you fuckers will be hearing from me real soon.\u201d At press time, reports confirmed a signal on Scott\u2019s earpiece had led him to nod solemnly and then rocket out of the White House on his jet pack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source: https:\/\/www.theonion.com\/biden-reveals-he-s-delta-force-operative-robert-scott-i-1851512959?utm_source=TheOnion_Daily_RSS&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=2024-06-12<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Published Wednesday 5:00AM (TheOnion.com) WASHINGTON\u2014Drawing stunned gasps from onlookers as he donned his signature eye patch and leather jacket, the man once known as President Joe Biden revealed Wednesday that he is, in fact, Delta Force operative Captain Robert Scott, on a mission since 1973 to investigate a major government… Continue reading → <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34380"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34380"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34380\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34381,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34380\/revisions\/34381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}