{"id":34885,"date":"2024-07-16T13:03:16","date_gmt":"2024-07-16T20:03:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/?p=34885"},"modified":"2024-07-16T13:03:17","modified_gmt":"2024-07-16T20:03:17","slug":"pete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2024\/07\/16\/pete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train\/","title":{"rendered":"Pete Buttigieg Trapped Beneath Derailed Model Train"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Published Friday 12:20PM (TheOnion.com)<a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?via=theonion&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fpete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train-1851551161%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_twitter&amp;text=Pete%20Buttigieg%20Trapped%20Beneath%20Derailed%20Model%20Train\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/facebook.com\/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fpete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train-1851551161%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_facebook\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/www.reddit.com\/submit?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fpete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train-1851551161%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_reddit&amp;title=Pete%20Buttigieg%20Trapped%20Beneath%20Derailed%20Model%20Train\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" href=\"mailto:?subject=Pete%20Buttigieg%20Trapped%20Beneath%20Derailed%20Model%20Train&amp;body=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theonion.com%2Fpete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train-1851551161%3Futm_medium%3Dsharefromsite%26utm_source%3Dtheonion_email\" target=\"_blank\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.theonion.com\/pete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train-1851551161\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.kinja-img.com\/image\/upload\/c_fit,q_60,w_645\/671e0c287c1a52ea55a003251cfd58dc.jpg\" alt=\"Image for article titled Pete Buttigieg Trapped Beneath Derailed Model Train\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>WASHINGTON\u2014Trapped beneath nearly five pounds of aluminum and plastic, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg was reportedly unable to move Thursday after his body was pinned beneath a derailed model train. \u201cOh God, help me\u2014somebody help!\u201d said Buttigieg, who cried out in pain and anguish as he lay on a plush area rug beside the table where, after traveling too quickly around a curve, a 1:48-scale train jumped its tracks and landed on the 42-year-old Cabinet official. \u201cQuick, somebody get this thing off me! I can\u2019t feel my legs. I think I\u2019m paralyzed! Oh, no, no, no, no. Is there blood? I can\u2019t look. I knew I never should have left South Bend.\u201d Chasten Buttigieg is said to have entered the room and removed the freight-train replica crushing the chest of his husband, who soon dusted off his overalls, replaced his engineer cap, and vowed federal regulators would severely penalize the Lionel toy train company.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Published Friday 12:20PM (TheOnion.com) WASHINGTON\u2014Trapped beneath nearly five pounds of aluminum and plastic, Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg was reportedly unable to move Thursday after his body was pinned beneath a derailed model train. \u201cOh God, help me\u2014somebody help!\u201d said Buttigieg, who cried out in pain and anguish as he&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2024\/07\/16\/pete-buttigieg-trapped-beneath-derailed-model-train\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34885"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34885"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34886,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34885\/revisions\/34886"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}