{"id":49661,"date":"2026-08-12T14:14:20","date_gmt":"2026-08-12T21:14:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/?p=49661"},"modified":"2026-08-12T14:14:29","modified_gmt":"2026-08-12T21:14:29","slug":"spiteful-aipac-spends-30-million-on-loud-bird-perched-outside-abdul-el-sayeds-window","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2026\/08\/12\/spiteful-aipac-spends-30-million-on-loud-bird-perched-outside-abdul-el-sayeds-window\/","title":{"rendered":"Spiteful AIPAC Spends $30 Million On Loud Bird Perched Outside Abdul El-Sayed\u2019s Window"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/theonion.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/Spiteful_AIPAC-NIB-SS-IHA.jpg?w=1600\" alt=\"\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Published: August 11, 2026 (TheOnion.com)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>ANN ARBOR, MI\u2014In an effort to&nbsp;irritate&nbsp;the&nbsp;recent winner of&nbsp;Michigan\u2019s Democratic Senate primary at all hours of the night,&nbsp;a spiteful&nbsp;American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) reportedly spent $30 million this week to place a really loud bird directly outside the window of Abdul El-Sayed. \u201cIt might seem like a lot of money, but it\u2019s worth it to have to a bird chittering away two feet from that guy\u2019s bedroom from dusk till dawn,\u201d AIPAC CEO Elliot Brandt said of the barn swallow paid to be as shrill as possible while it perched on a tree limb in El-Sayed\u2019s yard, pausing only briefly to give him false hope that the racket had finally come to an end. \u201cIt was important to us that there truly be no escape from this bird, so we asked it to set aside its usual variety of calls and repeat the same three notes continuously. That way, they\u2019re stuck in&nbsp;El-Sayed\u2019s head even if he flees his home.\u201d Brandt&nbsp;told reporters the bird would receive a bonus for shitting on&nbsp;the Democratic nominee&nbsp;as he made his way to his car.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Published: August 11, 2026 (TheOnion.com) ANN ARBOR, MI\u2014In an effort to&nbsp;irritate&nbsp;the&nbsp;recent winner of&nbsp;Michigan\u2019s Democratic Senate primary at all hours of the night,&nbsp;a spiteful&nbsp;American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) reportedly spent $30 million this week to place a really loud bird directly outside the window of Abdul El-Sayed. \u201cIt might seem&#8230; <a class=\"continue-reading-link\" href=\"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/2026\/08\/12\/spiteful-aipac-spends-30-million-on-loud-bird-perched-outside-abdul-el-sayeds-window\/\"> Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr; <\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2346,2143],"tags":[174,2334],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49661"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=49661"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49662,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/49661\/revisions\/49662"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=49661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=49661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/occupysf.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=49661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}