CBS New York Jun 24, 2025 Queens Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani is claiming victory in New York City’s Democratic mayoral primary. He spoke to his supporters early Wednesday morning. For video licensing inquiries, contact: licensing@veritone.com

Breaking Points Streamed live 7 hours ago Breaking Points Ryan, Griffin, Krystal, and Emily go live tonight to cover the NYC mayor election and updates on the Iran Israel US war.

CNN Jun 24, 2025 New York state Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani was on the brink of a remarkable primary win for New York City mayor, with his top challenger, former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, conceding the race. #CNN#News

By David Hernandez,Breaking News Reporter Updated June 22, 2025 (SFChronicle.com)

Demonstrators protest President Donald Trump’s decision to bomb Iranian nuclear facilities during a rally Sunday at Embarcadero Plaza in San Francisco. Manuel Orbegozo/For the S.F. Chronicle

Hundreds of protesters condemned President Donald Trump’s decision to bomb Iran during a rally Sunday at San Francisco’s Embarcadero Plaza, with many speakers accusing him of war crimes.

• ‘Congress exists’: Bay Area lawmakers deride Trump’s decision to bomb Iran as unlawful, risky

The demonstration, organized by the protest umbrella group the Answer Coalition, denounced Trump’s order as a violation of the U.N. Charter, international law and the U.S. Constitution. The coalition said U.S. funding should instead go to health care, education and infrastructure.

“Hands off Iran now,” demonstrators chanted, many holding anti-war signs.

“No war on Iran,” a sign read. “Money for people’s needs, not the war machine,” another said.

The group also voiced support for Palestinians, expressing opposition to U.S. funding for Israel’s war in Gaza.

“From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free,” chanted the group, which included two people holding large Palestinian flags.

Nearby, along the Embarcadero, a smaller group of demonstrators rallied in support of the U.S. aggression and protested what they described as an oppressive regime under the Iranian government. They waved Iranian flags and held signs calling for a regime change in the country.

Trump, who days ago said he would decide “within the next two weeks” whether to involve the U.S. in Israel’s assault on Iran, took the world by surprise with the weekend bombing. The U.S. struck three missile sites in the attack, which Trump said “completely and fully obliterated” Tehran’s nuclear program. The damage could not be independently assessed.

“This is an outright war crime,” Violette Mansour, 26, of the Palestinian Youth Movement said at the anti-Trump demonstration.

She and several other speakers lambasted the bombings as a U.S.-Israel tactic to distract from the war in Gaza.

“They did this to make us forget that Gaza is starving and being bombed,” Mansour said. “No matter how hard they try, nothing will make us forget or make us take our eyes off Gaza.”

Mansour also criticized the U.S. for turning to violence to “get its way.”

“Trump calls Iran the bully of the Middle East, but the U.S. is the bully of the world,” she said.

Some speakers said the bombings were unjustified and unprovoked because the U.S. was not under imminent threat. They noted that while the U.S. and Israel are equipped with nuclear weapons, many believe that Iran does not possess any despite Trump’s actions. Iran has said that its nuclear program serves civilian and peaceful purposes. 

Teanna Tillery, 48, of United Educators of San Francisco, called for the U.S. to fund medicine and education instead of wars.

“We want health care, not harm,” she said. “We want teachers, not tanks.”

Among the crowd of about 300 people was Sam Alavi-Irvine, 29, an Iranian American who said it is a privilege to live safely in the U.S.

 “So I’m showing up for my people and my family and my loved ones who are terrified in Iran,” Alavi-Irvine said, and to show “people are watching” developments in the Middle East.

“If we don’t show up, it’s kind of manufactured consent,” she said.

After the 90-minute protest, the demonstrators marched up Market Street as San Francisco police vehicles — five vans, two motorcycles and four sport utility vehicles — followed. “Hands off Iran,” the group chanted. Several drivers stopped at a red light at Battery Street honked as the crowd walked by.

Sunday’s protests came two days after about 200 people demonstrated outside the Speaker Nancy Pelosi Federal Building in San Francisco against U.S. involvement in Mideast conflicts, as well as immigration raids and Israel’s conflict in Gaza. Last weekend, tens of thousands of people packed Bay Area streets and parks during No Kings Day protests against the Trump administration. 

“Trump lied during the campaign when he said he was going to end the ‘forever wars’ and bring about peace,” organizers said before Sunday’s protest. “He is no different from George W. Bush, who lied about ‘weapons of mass destruction’ to initiate the catastrophic war in Iraq.”

Later Sunday, protesters gathered at Livermorium Plaza in Livermore for a separate anti-war rally and vigil organized by Indivisible Tri-Valley and Livermore Indivisible.

Warren Pederson contributed to this report.

June 22, 2025|Updated June 22, 2025 9:46 p.m.

David Hernandez

BREAKING NEWS REPORTER

David Hernandez covers public safety for the San Francisco Chronicle. Before joining the Chronicle in December 2023, he reported on crime, law enforcement and criminal justice for the San Diego Union-Tribune. A graduate of San Diego State University, he is a member of the National Association of Hispanic Journalists. He was born and raised in Santa Cruz.

Your weekly to-dos

1. Email all your Members of Congress to demand that they oppose war in Iran and support a War Powers Resolution. Donald Trump unilaterally and unlawfully launched a military strike that could ignite a full-scale regional war, jeopardizing American lives and freedom. Congress must assert its authority to stop another forever war.
2. Join the Healthcare Not Warfare rapid response call tomorrow, June 24, at 8pm ET / 5pm PT to join the campaign to stop war with Iran. We’re joining a coalition of grassroots organizations and activists to plan a massive, unified push to stop the war in Iran. Tomorrow’s mass call will outline the situation, the stakes, and how to take action alongside us.
3. Blue State Indivisibles: Call on your AG to fight hard against ICE overreach in your state. Donald Trump keeps doubling down on calls for ICE to aggressively target blue states and big cities. State Attorneys General have real power to fight back, and we need to keep pressure on them to use every tool at their disposal to hold ICE in check.
4. Red and Purple State Indivisibles: Call your GOP senators to demand they vote no on the bill to cut SNAP and Medicaid. The Senate’s vote on the billionaire-enriching GOP reconciliation bill could come this week, and we only need three Republicans to oppose its massively unpopular SNAP and Medicaid cuts to stop it. Now is the time to ensure your senators hear you!
5. Join our “What’s the Plan?” call this Thursday to hear Leah and Ezra answer your questions about Iran, ICE, and our next steps. Every Thursday at 3pm ET (12pm PT), our co-founders jump online to break down the news of the week, highlight our work, and answer your questions directly! Come be part of a free-flowing, interactive chat about what’s next in our fight for democracy.

P.S. It’s a key week in our fight to stop the Republican Tax Scam, and we’ve rolled out billboards, phonebanks, door knocking, digital programs, and more! Grassroots giving has helped us add dozens of additional billboards and expand our efforts in huge ways, so if you can spare it, please rush in a donation today to fund billboards and nationwide organizing to stop the Medicaid-killing MAGA agenda.

This week’s update on the Republican Tax Scam

The Senate could vote on its overhauled reconciliation bill by the end of this week, sending a significantly changed version back to the House for additional votes. Our goal remains disrupting that vote as long as we can — because the longer we delay it, the more we can toxify it and the harder it becomes to pass.

Here’s what you need to know heading into this week:

1. Every change the Senate makes needs to be approved by the House, and that’ll be the hardest part for Republicans. Senate changes to Medicaid funding, state/local taxes, and SNAP cuts are already imperiling the megabill in the House, and more big changes are bound to happen if the Senate vote is long and messy (our goal).
2. The Senate parliamentarian cut key MAGA policies — including the sneak-attack on our courts and a crucial SNAP plan. Last week’s “Byrd droppings” derailed an attempt to shield Trump from court oversight and, just as importantly, a ploy to cut federal food assistance that’s key to passing the House. But there’s no guarantee the GOP won’t try to overrule the parliamentarian, so we need to keep pressure on key senators to ensure they follow their own rules.
3. In many ways, the Senate made a really bad bill even worse. It includes a plot to sell off 250 million acres of public land, retains a ban on efforts to regulate AI, and makes changes to Medicaid funding that have hospitals nationwide warning of cuts and closures. When people hear pretty much anything about this bill, they despise it.

We’re dialing up (pun intended) pressure on key Senate Republicans all week by helping thousands upon thousands of their constituents place calls to their offices in opposition to SNAP and Medicaid cuts. You can help us supercharge that effort.

Click here to join phonebanks calling millions of people most likely to be hurt by this bill to rally opposition against it! Shifts are open daily at 6pm ET / 3pm PT this Monday-Thursday.

If you’re interested in other opportunities to phonebank, you can also join our phonebanks this Wednesday and Thursday at 11am ET / 8am PT, or you can sign up for our monthly phonebank training to get ready to make calls with us in July!

An LAPD officer walks near masked federal agents staged outside a gate of Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, California on June 19, 2025.

 (Photo by Mario Tama/Getty Images)

“Men dressed in tactical gear, operating unmarked vehicles without displaying credentials or agency affiliation, have infiltrated our neighborhoods,” said Huntington Park Mayor Arturo Flores.

STEPHEN PRAGER

Jun 23, 2025 (CommonDreams.org)

As U.S. President Donald Trump’s “mass deportation” crusade continues, a mayor in Los Angeles County is calling on his city’s police department to intervene, citing what he described as increasingly lawless conduct by federal immigration officers.

Arturo Flores, the mayor of Huntington Park, issued a statement on Saturday condemning what he called “masked abductions” by Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), which has spent the past month raiding workplaces, farms, and homes as part of the Trump administration’s efforts to ramp up the deportation campaign.

“These are not lawful arrests. These are abductions,” said Flores. “For more than a week, we have witnessed families being torn apart, children left without parents, and residents vanishing without explanation. Men dressed in tactical gear, operating unmarked vehicles without displaying credentials or agency affiliation, have infiltrated our neighborhoods in direct violation of our community’s values, civil rights, and the basic principles of due process.”

Flores formally ordered the Huntington Park Police Department “to begin verifying the identities and authority of any individuals conducting such operations within city limits” and to enforce vehicle codes requiring cars to have visible license plates and agency markings.

On June 12, Huntington Park was turned into a national spectacle when it was targeted for a high-profile raid attended by Kristi Noem, Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. The DHS chief arrived with a squadron of masked, armed federal agents at a home DHS claimed was occupied by a dangerous criminal. But when they stormed the home with rifles, the only people inside were a pregnant mother and her four kids—all U.S. citizens.

The family was not arrested, but Flores said he has since received several reports of masked and unidentified federal officers snatching people off the streets in broad daylight.

“These actions have sparked rumors of unauthorized vigilantes or bounty hunters operating under the guise of federal enforcement, have triggered widespread fear and confusion throughout the community,” he said.

Mayors across the country have issued strong condemnations to ICE’s actions in their communities, while some have said they’d refuse to cooperate with federal immigration raids. However, Flores is one of very few who have gone a step further, urging local officers to intervene in situations where federal officers violate the rights of those they detain.

“This is not immigration enforcement. This is state-sanctioned intimidation,” said Flores.

That sense of intimidation is spreading through communities across the Los Angeles area. As The Guardian reported on Saturday, the crackdown has left some of Los Angeles’ Latino neighborhoods resembling “ghost towns” where people are afraid to leave their homes for fear of being snatched off the street next.

The sight of masked, unidentified officers in plain clothes abducting people without identifying themselves or giving any explanation for their arrests has become an increasingly common sight all across the United States as the Trump administration has turbocharged its efforts to round up undocumented immigrants, the majority of whom have no criminal records.

Though there is no federal statute requiring federal officers to identify themselves, past leaders of these agencies told CNN that masking has historically been reserved for highly sensitive work, like undercover operations.

“The way that they’re carrying on without any visible identification—even that they’re law enforcement, much less what agency they’re with—it really is pretty unprecedented to see at this scale, and I think it’s very dangerous,” said Scott Shuchart, a senior ICE official during the Biden administration.

Many videos have circulated of officers violating detainees’ rights in flagrant ways while under the cover of anonymity.

On Saturday, multiple masked Customs and Border Protection officers were filmed brutally beating 48-year-old Narciso Barranco, the father of three U.S. Marines, in an IHOP parking lot in Santa Ana.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/o88Psh6Fukw?rel=0(Video: KTLA5, via @santaanaproblems on Instagram)

Video has spread across social media of officers forcing Barranco to the ground, striking him in the head at least six times, and kneeling on his neck, pushing his face onto the concrete before dragging the man, frightened and bloody, into an unmarked white van. According to Barranco’s sons, he is undocumented, but has no criminal record.

Rep. Pramila Jayapal (D-Wash.) has called for the incident to be investigated.

“This is horrific, unacceptable violence by ICE—an increasingly rogue agency with zero respect for the law,” she said.

In response to the attack on Barranco and others like it, two Bay Area legislators, state Sens. Scott Wiener (D-11) and Jesse Arreguín (D-7), introduced a bill on Monday that would require law enforcement at all levels, including federal, to identify themselves and bar them from wearing masks.

“People covering their faces, impersonating police officers—it erodes trust in law enforcement and it undermines community safety,” Arreguín said.

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STEPHEN PRAGER

Stephen Prager is a staff writer for Common Dreams.

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State Assemblymember Zohran Mamdani stands among attendees at the New York Working Families Party rally in Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn, New York.

 (Photo: Madison Swart/Hans Lucas/AFP via Getty Images)

“On the day before the election, we stand on the verge of toppling a political dynasty and winning a city we can afford,” wrote Mamdani.

ELOISE GOLDSMITH

Jun 23, 2025 (CommonDreams.org)

New poll results released Monday show State Assemblymember Zohran Mamdani narrowly ahead of former New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo in the city’s Democratic mayoral primary, which takes place on Tuesday and will be conducted via ranked-choice voting.

Early voting in the race began on June 14 and has far exceeded early voting turnout from the previous Democratic mayoral primary in 2021, though that contest was impacted by Covid-19.

The final Emerson College Polling/PIX11/The Hill survey of the primary race shows that Cuomo leads Mamdani 35% to 32% (within the plus or minus 3.4% margin of error) when voters are asked about their top pick overall. However, when the two face off in a ranked-choice voting simulation, Mamdani—a democratic socialist—wins with an outright majority in the eighth round with 52% to Cuomo’s 48%, according to the poll. The margin of error for the final round is plus or minus 3.6%.

“On the day before the election, we stand on the verge of toppling a political dynasty and winning a city we can afford. But we can only do it with you,” Mamdani wrote on Monday, referencing the poll.

The only other candidate who notched above 10% is New York City Comptroller Brad Lander, who secured 12.8% when voters were asked to name their top pick in the race. Lander was recently arrested by federal agents at an immigration court in lower Manhattan while escorting an individual out of immigration court.

In New York City’s ranked-choice voting system, which is used for certain elections including primary and special elections for mayor, voters rank multiple candidates on their ballots. If no candidate receives more than 50% of first choice votes, the candidate with the fewest votes is eliminated and the votes that went to that candidate are reallocated to the voters’ second choice. That distribution of votes repeats in subsequent rounds until one candidate wins an outright majority or there are only two candidates remaining.

“Over five months, Mamdani’s support has surged from 1% to 32%, while Cuomo finishes near where he began,” said Spencer Kimball, executive director of Emerson College Polling, in a statement published Monday. “In the ranked-choice simulation, Mamdani gains 18 points compared to Cuomo’s 12, putting him ahead in the final round for the first time in an Emerson poll.”

https://x.com/ddayen/status/1937140134366855551?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1937140134366855551%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.commondreams.org%2Fnews%2Fmamdani-emerson-hill-poll

Cuomo has been the consistent frontrunner in the contest, though some recent polling shows Mamdani eating into his lead or pulling ahead.

“This is an outlier: Every other credible poll in this election—including two released last week—has shown Governor Cuomo with a double digit lead, which is exactly where this election will end tomorrow. Between now and then we will continue to fight for every vote like he will fight for every New Yorker as mayor,” a Cuomo spokesperson in a statement sent to multiple outlets.

In a Marist poll published last week, Cuomo broke above the 50% threshold in the seventh round of ranked-choice voting.

Mamdani has become a viable contender in the race in part because of an impressive ground game and his high number of individual small dollar donations.

“The campaign has tapped into people’s belief that things could genuinely be better. The context of [President Donald] Trump is a part of that, where people are feeling in a very dark place politically and feeling the necessity of getting involved,” said one Mamdani canvasser who spoke to The American Prospect. Mamdani is “running on hope, possibility, and joy. We really could have a better society and a better city, and I think that has spoken deeply to people.”

Volunteers with his campaign have knocked on over a million doors around the city, according to his campaign website, and nearly 16,000 individual donors have contributed a donation of less than $100, according to The Financial Times. Cuomo has amassed a little over 1,000 donations from individual donors who gave less than $100, per the outlet.

Cuomo has benefited from backers supporting him through super political action committees, which are not limited in how much they raise though they are barred from donating directly to a political candidate. According to the FT, pro-Cuomo super PACS have poured an unprecedented $27 million into the race.

When it comes to high profile political endorsements, Cuomo has the backing of several establishment Democratic figures, including former President Bill Clinton and U.S. Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-S.C.). Meanwhile, Mamdani has earned the endorsement of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.).

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ELOISE GOLDSMITH

Eloise Goldsmith is a staff writer for Common Dreams.

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People rally in Times Square calling for the Trump administration not to go to war with Iran, on June 18, 2025 in New York City.

 (Photo: Adam Gray/Getty Images)

The striking of Iranian nuclear sites without congressional approval, said Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, “is absolutely and clearly grounds for impeachment.”

ELOISE GOLDSMITH

Jun 23, 2025 (CommonDreams.org)

As U.S. President Donald Trump took to social media on Sunday night to express that regime is on the table for Iran’s government, the call from Democratic lawmakers and outside progressive voices for his impeachment continued to grow following the weekend bombing of Iranian nuclear sites.

“It’s not politically correct to use the term, ‘Regime Change,'” Trump posted on Sunday night on Truth Social, one day after the U.S. struck three sites in Iran overnight on Saturday. “But if the current Iranian Regime is unable to MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN, why wouldn’t there be a Regime change??? MIGA!!!”

“So we DIDN’T destroy Fordo and we ARE doing regime change? How are there proponents of this anymore?” wrote Sen. Chris Murphy (D-Conn.) on Monday.

On Saturday, the United States dropped several 30,000-pound bunker buster bombs on Fordo, Iran’s heavily fortified nuclear facility. Facilities at Natanz and Isfahan were also targeted.

Independent experts who viewed satellite imagery of the areas told NPR that the strike left Iran’s nuclear program damaged but not destroyed.

In remarks on Monday, Rafael Grossi, Director General of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA), said, “Given the explosive payload utilized, and the extreme vibration-sensitive nature of centrifuges, very significant damage is expected to have occurred.” Speaking to the IAEA’s board of governors, Grossi called for an immediate cease-fire between Israel and Iran so that inspectors could view and assess the damage to the targeted sites.

Prior to the attacks, U.S. intelligence agencies had assessed that Iran was not attempting to build a nuclear weapon.

Even before Trump made his comments about regime change on Sunday, multiple Democratic members of Congress took to social media to say that Trump’s strikes on Iran constitute an impeachable offense.

“[Trump] has impulsively risked launching a war that may ensnare us for generations,” Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) wrote on X. “It is absolutely and clearly grounds for impeachment.”

Meanwhile, Rep. Sean Casten (D-Ill.) wrote on Sunday: “This is not about the merits of Iran’s nuclear program. No president has the authority to bomb another country that does not pose an imminent threat to the U.S. without the approval of Congress. This is an unambiguous impeachable offense.”

Consumer advocate Ralph Nader wrote that Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-Md.), “the leading constitutional expert in Congress,” should launch an impeachment push. Nader urged Raskin to file an article of impeachment against Trump for “engaging in a major war without a Congressional declaration.”

“MAGA claimed to be anti-war when they voted for Trump. Well, he has betrayed you. Time to stand for your principles. Sign the War Powers Resolution and impeach Trump,” wroteSaikat Chakrabarti, who is running for Rep. Nancy Pelosi’s (D-Calif.) seat in Congress.

The journalist Scott Dworkin wrote “Congress must impeach and remove Trump. Period.”

Reps. Thomas Massie (R-Ky.) and Ro Khanna (D-Calif.) introduced a war powers resolution in the U.S. House last week, asserting the constitutional requirement of congressional approval for any declaration of war. Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.) introduced one in the Senate.

https://x.com/mmcassella/status/1936897537941684733?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1936897537941684733%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.commondreams.org%2Fnews%2Ftrump-regime-change-impeachment

Trump’s comments about regime change came hours after Trump administration officials told the media earlier on Sunday that getting rid of Iran’s leadership is not the administration’s goal.

“This mission was not, and has not been, about regime change,” Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said in a press conference on Sunday morning. “The president authorized a precision operation to neutralize the threats to our national interests posed by the Iranian nuclear program.”

Vice President J.D. Vance said on NBC News on Sunday morning: “Our view has been very clear that we don’t want a regime change.”

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ELOISE GOLDSMITH

Eloise Goldsmith is a staff writer for Common Dreams.

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From The Onion Editorial Board

Onion Editorial

CONGRESS, NOW MORE THAN EVER, OUR NATION NEEDS YOUR COWARDICE

Published: June 20, 2025

Who will stand up for our democracy? This question, fraught in even the most peaceful times, has only grown more pressing as our country approaches its 250th anniversary. Each passing day brings growing assaults on essential liberties like freedom of speech and due process. Meanwhile, our delicately assembled legal system faces a constant barrage of threats. Even as this issue reaches publication, the U.S. military has been deployed against peaceful protestors. We teeter on the brink of collapse into an authoritarian state. That is why, today, The Onion calls upon our lawmakers to sit back and do absolutely nothing.

Members of Congress—now, more than ever, our nation desperately needs your cowardice.

Our republic is a birthright, an exceedingly rare treasure passed down from generation to generation of Americans. It was gained through hard years of bloody resistance and can too easily be lost. Our Founding Fathers, in their abundant wisdom, understood that all it would take was men and women of little courage sitting in the corridors of power and taking zero action as this precious inheritance was stripped away—and that is where we have finally arrived.

Now is not the time for bravery or valor! This is the time for protecting your own hide and lining your pocket. Now is not the time for listening to your idiotic constituents drone on about what’s happening to their precious democracy. This is the time for getting down on all fours and groveling. Now is not the time to say, “Enough is enough,” and have the tough conversations about resisting the ongoing assaults on American liberty. This is the time to let the wave of apathy and indifference roll over you as you think about getting a really nice renovation to your house in Kalorama.

But what can I, one coward, do alone? you might ask. It’s true. As a solitary person, your fecklessness will make little impact. But if you join together with the most craven senators and representatives in the Capitol, the impact will be immense: The corruption, the disregard for the rule of law, the shipping of residents to foreign gulags, the attacks on judges, the censorship and chilling of speech, the punishment of any and all dissent—it can be made that much worse if you just find it in yourself to clutch your head in your hands, wet the bed, and cower in the hope of being spared from the White House’s wrath.

It won’t be easy, but you must search deep within yourself and muster up every ounce of gutlessness you have. Then, bend over and lick the president’s boots.

Why? Because ultimately none of this matters. Democracy? Equality? The U.S. Constitution? These are hollow phrases. They mean nothing. But money—delicious money? That is solid. You can hold it in your hands. You know this. We know this, too. Only our infantile citizenry fail to appreciate how much you stand to gain by kissing the ring.

In our nation’s darkest moments, the public often looks to Congress for profiles in meekness. We search for men and women much like yourselves, emotional weaklings who are afraid to meet their own glance in the mirror, insignificant do-nothings who quake in their boots at the mention of the slightest exertion. Many of you have already distinguished yourselves as such individuals. To them, our country’s oligarchs can only offer their boundless thanks.

Take solace knowing you are not alone in this endeavor. Over the grand expanse of American history, there have been countless lawmakers who managed to summon up their complete lack of backbone and do the easy thing. Think of the members of Congress who turned a blind eye to Japanese American internment, McCarthyism, or the horrors of the Holocaust, all because doing something seemed a little too hard, a little too inconvenient. These men should be your inspiration. Never forget: You stand on the shoulders of spineless giants.

But we have not descended entirely from a nation of fearful men, have we? Let this be the moment to make amends for any missteps of American bravery and valor. Congress, we are asking, nay, demanding: This coming Independence Day, don’t wave the Stars and Stripes, that enduring symbol of liberty and rebellion.

Instead, wave the white flag of surrender.

Tu Stultus Es,
The Onion Editorial Board

Read The Letter From Global Tetrahedron CEO Bryce Tetraeder

Published: October 6, 2010 (TheOnion.com)

WASHINGTON—Citing a desire to gain influence in Washington, the American people confirmed Friday that they have hired high-powered D.C. lobbyist Jack Weldon of the firm Patton Boggs to help advance their agenda in Congress.

Known among Beltway insiders for his ability to sway public policy on behalf of massive corporations such as Johnson & Johnson, Monsanto, and AT&T, Weldon, 53, is expected to use his vast network of political connections to give his new client a voice in the legislative process.

Weldon is reportedly charging the American people $795 an hour.

“Unlike R.J. Reynolds, Pfizer, or Bank of America, the U.S. populace lacks the access to public officials required to further its legislative goals,” a statement from the nation read in part. “Jack Weldon gives us that access.”

“His daily presence in the Capitol will ensure the American people finally get a seat at the table,” the statement continued. “And it will allow him to advance our message that everyone, including Americans, deserves to be represented in Washington.”

The 310-million-member group said it will rely on Weldon’s considerable clout to ensure its concerns are taken into account when Congress addresses issues such as education, immigration, national security, health care, transportation, the economy, affordable college tuition, infrastructure, jobs, equal rights, taxes, Social Security, the environment, housing, the national debt, agriculture, energy, alternative energy, nutrition, imports, exports, foreign relations, the arts, and crime.

Sources confirmed that Weldon is already scheduled to have drinks Monday with several members of the Senate Appropriations Committee to discuss saving the middle class.

“If you have a problem, say, with America’s atrocious treatment of its veterans, you can’t just pick up a phone and call your local congressman,” Weldon told reporters from his office on K Street Monday. “You need someone on the inside who understands how democracy works; someone who knows how to grease the wheels a little.”

Weldon said that after successfully advocating on behalf of Goldman Sachs and BP, he is relishing the opportunity to lobby for the American people, calling it the “challenge of a lifetime.” The veteran D.C. power player admitted that his new client is at a disadvantage because it lacks the money and power of other groups.

“The goal is to make it seem politically advantageous for legislators to keep the American people in mind when making laws,” Weldon said. “Lawmakers are going to ask me, ’Why should I care about the American people? What’s in it for me?’ And it will be up to me and my team to find some reason why they should consider putting poverty and medical care for children on the legislative docket.”

“To be honest,” Weldon added, “the American people have always been perceived as a little naïve when it comes to their representative government. But having me on their side sends a clear message that they’re finally serious and want to play ball.”

According to Washington heavyweights, hiring Weldon is an immediate game changer and should force politicians to take citizens’ concerns seriously for the first time in decades. Moreover, sources said, Weldon will be able to help lawmakers see the American people as more than just a low-priority fringe group.

“Jack is very good at what he does,” said Joseph Pearlman, a headhunter for the McCormick Group who specializes in placing lobbyists. “He can take an issue that is nowhere on the congressional radar, like the pursuit of happiness, for example, and make it politically relevant. The next time Congress passes a bill dealing with civil rights or taxes, I wouldn’t be surprised if the U.S. populace is mentioned somewhere in the final language.”

Though Weldon has only been on the job for three days, legislators have already seemed to take notice.

“Before today, I’d actually never heard of this group,” Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) told reporters. “But if Jack says they’re worth my time, I’ll take a look and see if maybe there are some areas where our interests overlap.”

“But I’m not making any promises,” he added. “I’m a very busy man.”